Good morning 👋 Ever look at your kid’s teddy bear and think, “You’re cute, but you’d be way better if you secretly recorded everything and replied with weirdly affectionate affirmations?” No? Meet Grem, a stuffed alien chatbot designed to “learn” your child’s personality and pretend to love them back. It’s part of a booming market of AI surveillance toys pitched as a “healthier” alternative to screen time. Healthier? Debatable. Creepier? Definitely.
🔮 What’s really going on with Oracle’s $300 billion AI deal with OpenAI? Oracle announced $455B in future contracts, sending its stock soaring 40% in a single day. But roughly $300B depends entirely on a single deal with OpenAI, which doesn’t even kick in until 2027. So where is OpenAI getting that cash? From SoftBank’s $500B Stargate commitment, of course. But SoftBank can’t actually write that check, because their entire company is only worth $300B. Even if these AI Ponzinomics magically work out, Oracle’s payday is two full years away, giving this house of cards plenty of time to collapse.
🎬 Coming soon: Oracle (plus VC giants Silver Lake and a16z) is about to control 80% of TikTok in addition to Larry Ellison controlling Paramount. Next up is Warner Bros for a solid media empire.
💥 Meta now has a super PAC to politically crush its AI rivals. Thanks to a loophole in campaign finance law, Mark Zuckerberg can now funnel corporate billions directly into California elections without touching his personal fortune. His new political arm can openly run attack ads, target politicians friendly to competitors, and flex regulatory muscle right in Silicon Valley. At least democracy’s getting optimized for ad revenue.
🛍️ Google’s new A2P protocol lets AI agents shop autonomously. It’s already backed by Mastercard, PayPal, and American Express, with built-in crypto support from Coinbase and Metamask. Agents get their own spending limits, negotiation rules, and even audit trails in case they get carried away. Google open-sourced the whole thing on GitHub, hoping it becomes the universal way bots blow through your money.
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🎈A quantum computing co just bought $300m of Helium‑3 from the Moon. (And it’s not even being mined yet.) Interlude, the startup behind the deal, thinks they can harvest Helium-3 with robots. If the bots survive lunar dust storms and brutal temp swings the ultra-rare gas is worth $20 million/kg. The plan is for deliveries to start in 2028… which seems totally realistic if you ignore they have no ships, no robots, and no idea if this is even possible.
☎️ Verizon has a brilliant new plan for delivering edge AI. They’re transforming old copper-wire phone buildings into local data centers built specifically for AI workloads. These dusty facilities already have the power, cooling, and fiber infrastructure hyperscalers desperately need. Verizon claims this move could unlock billions in fresh revenue. Not bad for a bunch of abandoned phone closets.
fun stats
amount Amazon, Microsoft, Google, Meta, and OpenAI plan to spend by the end of this year in pursuit of AI 💰 OpenAI alone plans to burn through $115 billlion by 2029, plus or minus the $300 billion Oracle deal that starts in 2027.
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